9 March 2010

9 March 2010  I woke up hungry!

I woke up and immediately thought of my Lord and Savior.  I've been hungry for Him, but not hungry enough.  I have been satiating on junk food and it seems to curb my hunger but it doesn't satisfy.  I have thought about fasting and i poo-poo that thought with the idea that I need to lose a few pounds and I know that the real motivation has nothing to do with the Lord  but with the fact that my jeans are a little too snug.

I've told myself  for almost a year, now, that I want to see Him face-to-face, but my "want to" is broke.  My want has not turned into a need.    I know that I am self-medicating with food, TV, my iphone games and anything else that will keep me one step further from Him.  My spiritual medical protocols rarely involve seeing the "Great Physician."  I have made half-hearted attempts to draw near, by the few scriptures on the tablets of my heart.  I know something is not right and rather than seeing Him, I make an appt, cancel and then run to the pharmacy for an over the counter med.

I know what to do to make it all better, but it's like going to my family practice physician who is going to ask me if I have been eating right and exercising.  I get nervous because I haven't done either.  I have come up with excuses to not enter in, I have not taken the time to listen. 
 
I have always harshly judged the Israelites in the old testament.  I questioned how one could see the physical manifestation of the dunamis and not be convinced and totally devoted to serving the God who provided cloud cover and warmth during the exodus.  I can't imagine walking through a parted wall of water and not be fearful of the One who was holding the water back.  I would be shaking in my boots to see my enemy drowned only moments after getting to the other side. I think I would be amazed at the sandals and clothes not wearing out.  I have these thoughts that are so far off base.  I can prove it in my own life.

I have seen the power  of God in so many different forms I can't start to tell about it.  Kind of like the end of the book of John:

^John21:25Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.

I have witnessed miracles in my life and in others.  Yet, here I sit waiting to be WOW'ed some more...or to be blown away (or blown off my duff) to get me to sit in front of His throne.

I understand my Israeli brother and sister because I am as they were.   My goal now, is to not die in the desert.  I don't want to peer at the promised land but to walk in it.  I want my life to be a part of the heart cell in the make-up of the bride. 

I am grateful that He knows me better than I know myself.

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD
       and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Outside of all my fluff, my tainted thoughts, my reckless hopes, my flawed dreams, He knows my heart.  I will chose today to give Him praise and thank Him for knowing my heart.   I will choose to be grateful because He woke me with a hunger for Him.  I am starving for Him, I don't want any more junk food, I don't want any more counterfeits, I want the real, honest to goodness meat and potatoes of the Word.  I want to make and keep my appointment with the Great Doctor.  I want His plans, His protocols, His wellness schedule.  I want to see Him face-to-face.

I have a bone to pick with those who ...

I have a bone to pick with those who claim that ordinary people do extraordinary things in the Kingdom.  As I look at the heroes of the faith my realization is that everyone has the capacity to be extraordinary...but few choose this path.

It is a herculean effort to push through the ordinary.  It is moment by moment choices to evaluate the consequences of your decisions and to allow God to change us.  It doesn't matter whether you return to square one a gazillion times...what matters is that you return.

I think God has called us all to be extraordinary, but I think few answer the call.   I think many of us opt to rewrite the plans God has for us and settle for the mundane.  It is definitely less controversial and there is no elasticity in our lives.  It is much easier to be predictable.  It takes less energy, blood, sweat and tears to not make a difference.  I think you are much more likable when people know what to expect and I think the comfort of a routine life is satisfying to the flesh.

I believe our walk with God should be exciting, unpredictable, and painful.  I think we should be looking around all corners waiting for God to jump out and yell "Boo!"  I believe God made the mind with the ability to create as He did and  not to is the antithesis to His divine order. I think God wants us to question that around us and query Him with unsearchable curiosity.

When I look to nature itself and see the hand of the magnificent Creator, I begin to wonder about my smallness.  My inability to affect anything around me.  My physical limitations, whether it is what I put my hands and feet too or what I put my thoughts to.  I wonder what purpose is my occupying this space of dirt on planet Earth.  I have to run to the Word and look for definition and  I realize what I think is important, is trivial, compared to what He thinks is important and to find sense or value in this life means I need to go to the one who created this life and find out what His plans were.

I can't comprehend all that He has in store for me and I believe that He intends on me living a supernatural life with my existence making a difference in the spiritual realm.  I think He calls me to do far more greater things than I would ever feel capable of.  I believe He wants me to be extraordinary because He is extraordinary and I am made in his likeness.