10 February 2010 How much more can b...

10 February 2010 How much more can be physically heaped onto this dead body?

A stinking cold. A full fledged nasal and sinus invasion with all the accouterments. I am sniffling, sneezing, coughing, hacking and sometimes gagging! I hurt..my face hurts...my eyes hurt to look at anything and my fingers hurt to type and my brain hurts to think. It is fair to say I have caught and swallowed the hook line and sinker of the rhino virus. It is more than devastating to prioritize my aches and pains. Underneath the cold symptoms is my chest pains and I tab down the menu of pain du jour and say, I will have this one right now. Mostly because it is screaming the loudest!

Are there lessons? Well last Wednesday at a prayer meeting at our church, the Lord convicted me deeply on judgment. Have I been here before????? Everywhere I looked, I judged every face in my visual path. As usual, I cried at the hugeness of my sin and my gladness of moments of transformation. Sure enough, He had something to reveal and clean-up. I sort of wondered if this journey of meeting face-to-face with my God had some prerequisites with it. I realize the Blood cleanses me and presents me to God with unblemished purity, but I couldn't help wondering if this wasn't part of the journey. Maybe, because I desire so greatly to meet, He has changed me, so the discussions are holier, more potent, of significance and funner. I don't know, but this I do.

My pain has directed my path for years now and I have experienced life through a looking glass of level of pain. My physical being had found a means to supersede my spiritual. The small still voice of the Holy Spirit was muted by the pain that had a megaphone in my ear continually yelling at me. I unconsciously began to view all life and everything around me in darkness. I bore a negative perspective on people, situations, and life. It was all tainted and although I know He never left me, I left Him to focus on my unsuccessful pity party. I could not seem to elevate my eyes past the horizon.

I saw myself spiritually doing a rain dance on the altar of burning flesh. I'm not sure if the hopping around was due to the heat or I truly wanted the rain to cause the heat to subside. Either way, I have been walking as a failure not bringing an ounce of glory to God, but a trail of malignment to His name. My lesson?

I have a God who walked in the flesh and He has given me abilities to rise above my physical issues and love greatly, esteem others and live humbly. I have the spiritual ability to walk in righteousness in my broken body.