2 May 05 It's a Mish Mash World

2 May 05 It’s my
own Mish Mash World

Sometimes, I have so
much time on my hands I feel lost and unusable in the kingdom of God,
other times I’m squeezing out the seconds to extend my 24 hours
anyway I can.

Sometimes, I drown in
God’s glow, talking and singing thinking upon Him and His great
truths and other times I pray a quick “Please bless so and so
and meet their needs according to your riches and glory and be
blessed in my day Amen.”

My life is a potpourri
of messages. I can quickly scripturally advise someone swimming in a
sea of despair, because I have just an amount of knowledge to do so.
I have a life that resembles a miscellaneous file and I know that
through this unorthodox, nonsensical dance of life there is a pattern
yet to be determined.

I am an unpaired shoe
closet that seems to have no rhyme or reason to it. I answer my
phone and find myself in a very unexpected place when someone is
seeking consolation or counsel and then sometimes I’m using my
phone for my own need for both. I run to and fro and often times
find waves of activities hopping from one place to another and other
times longing for a friendly conversation over a steaming cup of
java.

I seem to make no sense
to myself. I sometimes live life with the thoughts of my mortality
and other times think, “If I don’t think about dying, I
won’t.” I know that doesn’t work, just as I use to
think “If I don’t think about getting old, I won’t”
or as a young 2-year old with a sheet over my head thinking if I
can’t see you then you can’t see me. It’s obvious
there is an elephant in the room and there are those wondering why
there is a white lump walking around the room? I have such an oleo
of thoughts and I know sometimes they are profound and other times
just random. I have a patch work life, a quilt made from many
different designs of cloth. I see no start or finish to my storybook
of tales. It is in this mish mash that the only thing that makes any
sense is that He is directing my footsteps.

From my view, it is a
maze; from His it is His special design. Although, I see no pattern
my life is robed with royalty and surely threads of gold bring the
continuity needed to hold it all together. Wherever I am and
wherever I’ve been, I’ve only had to shift my horizontal
gaze to the vertical and I know that there are bigger purposes for me
and that since God is orderly in nature, there is order in my days
and it’s not necessary for me to know how it is suppose to be
built.

I know that in my
sometimes whirlwind life and sometimes in my placid days that God’s
order and design is humongous and like those illusionary pictures of
design, what you first see doesn’t compare to the elaborate 3-D
photo hidden in a spectrum of color.

I never have to make
sense of my days, but I do have to have my lifeline so firmly
attached to Him that my life as a dot on the page of His artwork of
Humanity is consistent with His painting.