My Summer Upped and Left 23 Aug 05

My Summer Upped and Left 23 Aug 05

I am a totally 4 seasons kind of gal and I welcome each with my arms wide open with a childish glee, that this will be the best, fill in the blank________ever. I am around the corner from Autumn and my flinging arms are now wrapped around tight to my summer, but like a spoiled child throwing a tantrum, with my heels dug in…I’m not ready for Fall. I want the toasty, sweltering 16 hours of sunlight lazy days of summer to linger longer. Although, I would not change one moment of how I’ve lived out the past three and a half months, everything in me refuses to surrender to nature’s biological clock. I am comfortable in this great day that the Lord has made and I am rejoicing in it. I am willing to go where He sends me, bless who He calls me to bless, pray for those He wants me to pray for, and live out my days the way He has called me to live, but, I’m just happy HERE!

 I love where I’ve been, I’ve enjoyed the romance, the revelation, the prodding, pruning, cleansing, growing, the comfort, but I know in my bones a new day is moving in approaching for my soul. It is stealthily moving in and I know without a doubt it will not resemble my past seasons of life. I’m so comfortable with predictable.  I am the most content creature of habit on the face of the earth, but there is a rumbling in the spiritual realm and a stirring in my Spirit. I can feel the tug-of-war of my emotions at work knowing that a different season of life is upon me.

I become paranoid of the words “to whom much is given, much is required.” I can feel my heels burrowing, my arms holding tight and my tantrum welling up inside of me. The anticipation of what is next, is like a child being told this injection is gonna protect you from deadly diseases, but in order for that to happen we have to shoot you! Sometimes, I wish, God why don’t you just do a holy assassination of my flesh, then no gripping arms, no dug in heels, and for goodness sake no embarrassing tantrums. These wishes would certainly prevent God’s best in my life. I lay it down at the altar, all my hopes and dreams, stubbornness and habits. I relinquish my life to His purposes and know that after the fire has been lit and there are just ashes smoldering, He will resurrect what is useable in His Kingdom and I will welcome this new season with my heart mind and strength with great delight.